Sopor Slime Brownies
by kimchi121
Summary: Gamzee makes brownies like the title says, those kinds of brownies. Yup, so the first thing Gamzee does is go to his best friend, which is Karkat. Hilarity ensues. Mentions of stealing hands? A stoned Karkat is a... Rated T for reasons, R&R oneshot several refs Homestuck belongs to Hussie


"Hey KaRbRo," Gamzee announced stalking lazily up to his nubby horned best friend.

"What the hell do you want clown?" he grumbled in response.

"I want you to try one of these brownies with me." he casually explained.

"Why on Alternia would I do that?"

"What I didn't do anything to them bro. They were in this motherfucking premade shit. Like motherfucking miracles. All I needed to do was add some of that earth cow nectar and a few of them earth poultry eggs." he explained. "Then stick it in the oven and ta-da! Miracles Karbro, miracles." The shorter troll eyed the tray full of brownies and took one. Examining the brown rectangular baked good. He sniffed it, all he could smell was the sweet aroma of chocolate that Dave and John wouldn't shut up about. They even resorted to selling chocolate bars, only to have Equius chase them down like a mad hoof beast. And end up buying all of their chocolate. But not before feeling sorry for Tavros and buying those weird chocolate bags he just so happened to have. The paraplegic was using his handicap against them. Or maybe it was Vriska. Yeah Vriska just wanted to do it for the heck off it. Oh how she just loved to manipulate people (Tavros).

"This shit isn't gonna kill me right?"

"Now why the fuck would I do that motherfucking best friend?" He grinned but only made Karkat more suspicious of him. Sighing he took a bite and was surprised that it was actually enjoyable. He had already scarfed down 7 brownies by the time Gamzee remembered that he did add something more to the mix.

"Fuck, man now that I all up and recall. I did add a little something extra to it..." By this time Karkat was already on his 11th brownie. He stopped eating as he squinted at Gamzee.

" ...YOu...ADD?" he asked, but his voice seemed a little off.

"A few cups of sopor slime." Gamzee shrugged. Karkat just looked at him with a serious face. That lasted about 0.5 seconds as he just burst into laughter. Which shocked Gamzee a bit. There wasn't a rom-con on or anything.

"HAHAHAHA! Gamz...whoa I can see, everythinng." Karkat said drawing out the last word longer than needed.

"Karbro...you feeling fine man?" Gamzee asked.

"Yeah man, I feel perfectly...peachy." he smiled. He then looked at his hands. "Wow, whose hands are these?" he asked dazed. He then walked up to Gamzee. "Gamz...p22t...ii 2teal hand2." he then took Gamzee's hands into his own. "Gamzee...ii 2tole your hand2..." Gamzee eyed him funny. He was acting like Sollux, when he ate those cupcakes he made. He looked down at the smaller troll to find empty space. A feeling of dread formed in his stomach. He just let a high as fuck Karkat on the loose. There was no telling what a high on sopor slime Karkat would be capable of.

"Oh motherfucking shit..."

* * *

Gamzee searched everywhere for his nubby horned best friend to find him talking to John and Dave. He walked up to them to find Karkat apologizing?

"Oh god I'm so fucking sorry for all the shit you guys had to go through. I'm really sorry for trolling you both. And Dave...you are so fucking coooooool. Like so cool. You're hot too, like sexy hot. Heeey, if I make milk shakes will all the boys come to my yard?" Dave just looked slightly shocked as his sunglasses had tilted slightly, showing wide crimson eyes. Was it just the heat or was Dave blushing? And was he slightly aroused? Yes, and yes.

"And John...you are the fucking prankster okay I said it the fucking prankster king. There you happy? I don't hate you guys either...man you guys...you guys are the motherfucking bestfriends a troll like me could have." For some reason that statement hurt Gamzee. Karkat then proceeded to hug them both. Causing the two of them to blush uncontrollably, sputtering nonsense.

"SMOOCH"

"SMOOCH" He kissed both of them...on the mouth. Leaving them both speechless along with their jaws dropping, Gamzee's included.

"HAHAHAAHA YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING HILARIOUS!" he then lazily ran off, disappearing from sight. The two boys who had been smooched looked wide eyed after him, then they both turned to Gamzee. Mouths still dropped.

"Kar...Kiss...sorry?! Whaa!?" Dave sputtered, John was still left speechless.

"Three words... .Brownies..." Gamzee replied.

"Holy shit...How many did he eat?" Dave asked.

"Last I checked 11" Gamzee stated.

"Fuck, now Karkat is all kinds of stoned, oh god, there's no telling what he'll do now..." John spoke, recovering from his shock.

* * *

A/N: I hope you like it...and yes I do know that it's basically the cupcake comic. It was 3 in the freaking morning besides I said there were going to be references...please don't kill me...


End file.
